Thoughts as poems (old blog)

Hold me

2009-01-26T01:08:00.000-08:00

Hold me baby;
Coz no matter how strong i am;
There is still that weak bit in me;
That only finds solace in your arms

rose of love

2009-01-08T18:38:00.000-08:00

plant a rose
where my ashes lie
and my love
will bloom towards the sky

Ishq mein gairate jazbaat

2009-01-07T20:18:00.000-08:00

jagjit and chitra:

Ishq mein gairate jazbaat ne rone naa diya
varna kya baat thi kis baat ne rone naa diya
Ishq mein gairate jazbaat neee...
Yaar ko maine mujhe yaar ne Sone naa diya
raat bhar taal-a-bedar ne sone naa diya
Yaar ko maine mujhe yaar neee...

Aap kehte the k rone se naa badalenge naseeb
Umarr bhar aapki ish baat ne rone naa diya
varna kya baat thi kis baat ne rone naa diya

Ek sabgul bule betaab k jaage naa naseeb
Pehlu-a-gul ne kabhi khaar ne sone naa diya
Yaar ko maine mujhe yaar ne...

Unse milkar hamein rona tha bohat rona tha
Tangi-a-waqte mulakaat ne rone naa diya
Ishq mein gairate jazbaat ne

Raat bhar ki dil-a-betaab ne baatein mujhse
ranj-o-mehanat k kiraftar ne sone naa diya
Yaar ko maine mujhe yaar ne....

Rone waalo se kaho unka bhi rona role
jinko majboori-a-halat ne rone naa diya

Ishq mein gairate jazbaat ne rone naa diya
Ishq mein gairate jazbaat ne
Yaar ko maine mujhe yaar ne...
Ishq mein gairate jazbaat ne

duur hai tu

2008-12-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

koi toh wajah hogee ki tu abhi tak mere aahosh mein naee
koi toh wajah hogee ki tu phir chup sahee

ae khuda, ab kya tujhe paane ke liye
khudaa se hi baat karni padegi

A deeper sound

2008-12-17T21:22:00.000-08:00

even at this 'grown up' age
there are times when i feel
helpless and lost
when my strengths seem missing
and my weaknesses are playing their cards
in those moments of agony
i look forward to hearing a sound
a sound that will tell me everythings gonna be ok
and even though i have never heard that sound
i have felt u do things for me
and said here is the chance u had asked me for
now show me what u can do and make me proud
and though i have faltered almost everytime
even on those
it seems you haven't given up on me
thanks for being the confidence i dont have
thanks for being the deeper sound that i can't hear

my love affair...

2008-12-13T18:34:00.000-08:00

I haven't been with her for long
but ours is a bond unbroken
she keeps busy with her day to day life
but i know she years for me everyday
as i yearn for her
and when we occassionally catch up
she flirts with me as she did when we first met
playing it subtle at moments
or roaring for my attention
a soothing voice in either tone
she talks to me and wonders
that didn't i miss her...what took me so long
her smooth surface is eager to rub againt mine
she is a demanding one
whilst she cuddles me in the evening and does general chatter
in the mornings she wants me pumping and sweating
and tired i fall in her lap
and i realize how much i love her
how much she loves me
there is happiness and peace
and not that we dont fight
oh sometimes she grows dark and angry
she scares me when she's so fiery
but i know beneath all that rage
is a woman who wants to be loved
and of all the girls i have known
she's the one i think simplest to understand
her wants are primial and on the face
her love is easily felt
its a three year old love affair
and it still continues...

after months i came back to juhu beach
and my babe was as lovely as ever infact i think she looks better than last time, there's a mini garden also there now :)

give in, into love

2008-12-07T10:35:00.000-08:00

when warmth is all that you want
and they try and barter you the world
when a hug is all you need
the world doesnt work...a single person is wat goes

when time flies
round and round and thoughts get entangled
and u find that u r tired of it all
that what came to u at the end...is what should've been there all along

when love is all that i want
why do u think anything else will work
i need someone who will give me the attention
when it requires u to lose...why are u still hung up on being in control

a little bit of a lot

2008-09-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

a little bit of tease a little bit of a play
a little bit of kindness and some amount of pray
a little bit of roughing up a little bit of soft side
a little bit of priceyness and some warm smiles

a little bit of fun
a little bit of wine
a little bit of embarassment
a little bit of swine

a little bit of pain
a little bit of pleasure
a little bit of the saint
a little bit of devilishness to treasure

a little bit of everything is what makes things good
and thats why i'm a little bit of everything
nice, rude, cool, prude, gross, warm, kinky, cuddly
and maybe i'm a little bit of u

Thought you had me

2008-09-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

in school when every body was cool
i was in my pensive mood
and some parts of life went so fast by
that the race was almost over before i knew it had begun
and you thought you had me there did you
well dream on...

when it was the time for the heart to flourish
i had words but no magic
and my search for a mate was so futile
that right before my eyes the world had coupleized
and you thought you had me there did you
well dream on...

and then you gave me eyes to dream big
but no direction to walk upon
and in my haste to be me
i had walked a couple of circular miles
and you thought you had me there did you
well dream on...

i cherish you as my enemy
cause you're also my closest friend
and i appreciate ure challenges
and my peculiar weaknesses
but if you think you'll ever have me
well dream on...

The man

2008-07-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

I am what I am and that's Why I am the Man

I may not have the strengths of ten oxen
And me by your side won't look like u got a trophy
And i don't even have a tank gun between my legs
What to tell you, i dont even care if you and i are rich

I may earn some dough and it may be good
But one day i might just ask you to pack bags
And move wid family to a farm somewhere
I hope you're good wid milking cows

I may be cuddly
Heck I may spank
And your heels might make me wanna wank
But you never know a movie might even make me shed a tear

I may carry your bags and smile
And say what the heck spend all u like
I may even cook your breakfast in bed
But don't be surprised when i crib

I pick my nose
I throw my socks
And i could give up those
But i'll still burp loud

I'll make u smile
And make even the most stressful times feel like a laugh
Heck you'll never know when you're gonna be asked for a dance
But as unlikely it may seem, am sure you're gonna cry too

As gentlemanly nice as i am
Am sure you'll see that i am a jerk too
And i hope u can love them both
Coz I am what I am, and that's why u shud want me to be your man

the journeyman travails - what are you searching for

2008-06-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

a lil one asked me yesterday, journeyman what are you searching for
you travel far and wide, is it for the gold in the river or the diamonds in the mines

i wonder what to tell her, for what gold can buy and diamond can decorate
is, but a crown, better suited for museums; to come once in a while, admire and move on

i tell her of my prayers to the lord in the night
that my life be one of adventure, one of seeking

that i search for peace inside
and that i spread smiles outside

doodles on a napkin

2008-06-05T02:49:00.000-07:00

Doodles on a napkin
are like the tarrot cards
mysteriously forming destiny
from thoughts arisen in solitude
but like all destinies must
in the end get crumpled up and moved away
to make way for a fresh table, some new thoughts and some new doodles

The Tree

2008-05-29T05:11:00.000-07:00

in their natural turn
the seasons come and go
each spring invigorates me
each autumn eats away a part of me
and i remain rooted deep down into the earth
looking up at the sun hover in the sky

caught in the prison of the earth and the sky
neither free to mingle with the mud
nor allowed to fly
i talk to the travellers
with my breezy lullaby
this is my penance, this is my sacrifice

fear of rejection

2008-05-17T03:50:00.000-07:00

a friend mentioned this some days back...the fear of rejection

in these games of heart played blind
there is always a risk of a bad hand
when hopes of a flush give way to a heartache
and u feel that spring is the worst season of them all

but should one for the fear of losing
pack cards and not sit at the table at all?
and give no chance to life to work its miracle
life isn't very fun if one fears living it

admittedly it is stupid to play big hands on every turn
in games of love and war prudence is a valuable asset
for when it comes to playing the play
one must decide when to fold, play small or raise the stakes

The Empty Dock & the lost Ship

2008-04-14T03:32:00.001-07:00

I have walked a long part of this life
wondering if there is a gentle hand
against which mine shall rub
one fine foggy morning
and through distance and time
the one who I have been looking for
shall find me just by chance

And as I despair and lie awake
wondering if her boat will ever find this dock
Not knowing what she is looking for
or a map that would lead her home
it seems a frail chance
we may have passed by each other already
or may never cross each others path
what if the boat is always lost
what if this dock is always empty

Lost in our own turbulences

2008-03-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

Life is not as tough as it sometimes seems
But we want so much that we can't even gleam
the simplicity that surrounds us
in trying to understand the depths
we forget that somethings are but too simple
reaching out far in all directions
we wander and we struggle
and let go of what is at hand
till the time it drifts away
way far too much
and then we treasure
the diamond
that we thought was coal

about me 2

2008-01-22T13:43:00.000-08:00

The old abt me had been up here for quite some time like a weathered sail whose seen many stormy seas...

T.J.: Sex was really easy. There was sex everywhere. It didn't really mean too much. Love, love was the hard thing to find. Even if you were looking for it, which not too many people were. And even if you found it, which not too many people did, even if it was right there in front of you. No; how could you see it with all the sex in the way?

--------------------------------------------------
So here goes a new one (the old one now rests in my blog)

Many a people this face will meet
Some exploring the depths of meditation
Some wanting to feel real passion
Some wanting to die of exhilaration
Some wanting to set fire to this world of turbulation

There'll be souls interested in discussing Schroedenger's cat experiment
Whilst some may be into soles, fetish, bdsm and other sexual lifestyles untold
There'll be others trying to prove the butterfly effect
whilst some who would want to replicate the pattern on clothes, handbags, carpets and all

Ahead of us all lie challenges galore
To climb the everest
To write Tales of urban folk lore
To create art or improve science
Or to just find happiness in existence

And in all this we will find
People who hate
People who love
People whose views differ and judge us
People whose support makes u ten times strong

In all of this melee we all fit in
Decoding the mysteries of this life
and enjoying the happiness and pains as they come
So be it for you, so be it for me

tera ishq hai kya

2007-12-22T04:14:00.000-08:00

na laila majnu ki kahaani
na heer ranjhaa ki pareshaani
yeh ishq na hota hai teri kaaya se
na fastaa hai yeh teri maaya mein
yeh ojhal hai sabki nazron se
yeh rahta nahee dil mein
jisne dil se keeya usne dillagi ki
kisi ke naseeb mein thi kisi ki rah gaeee

main toh dhoond raha hoon woh ishq
jo mujhko bhula de
na baney us tarah ki ho jo chilm ka kash
har saans se dhuein mein ud jaaye
main toh dhoond raha hoon woh loh
jo ki mere khoon mein ghul kar main ban jaaye

na jaanu mein aatma na jaanu main khudaa
na maanu yeh dhad tera na uski banaavat
jo tu mujhe samajh sake to samajh
main dhoondo aisa ishq
jo mujhe ishq samjhaa sake

look in

2007-10-23T01:15:00.001-07:00

there are words which are spoken
and yet much is said when quiet
if all the thoughts were conquered
we would know who we are

waiting for her

2007-10-23T01:15:00.000-07:00

she comes she goes
like the breeze of a spring
but when will she knock by my door
and bring the blossoming bloom in

the burning world

2007-10-23T01:14:00.000-07:00

who said the world hath no fire...
i stood by yesterday as it burnt down in flames
some from my heart, some from yours
some from the people who couldnt care less
and we screamed and they screamed
but nobody went to get water
or did we already know it was too late
or did we already know it was too late
too late, too late, too late to save anybody from the pyre

look out

2007-10-23T01:13:00.000-07:00

what are we all looking for
a fun time on a place so bore
when things move beyond reality
we change reality and make things
in all we are magicians the world hasn't seen
in all we are fools believing in our own fallacies

beating hearts different stories

2007-10-23T01:11:00.000-07:00

lips to lips, kiss to kiss
each one is a different flavour
each one a different story
underneath each shell though
we all have a heart which beats loudly

about me

2007-09-08T17:47:00.000-07:00

a non conformist if u've ever met one

i believe dope is overrated, meditation gives u a cheaper high

i believe well written porn is are a good read when u r bored

i believe that some of the most interesting books are the gita, quran , the bible etc

that our society can't be called civilized till we ensure that no woman, child or man is forced into slavery or prostitution

that prostitution in itself is a bloody good business plan

that studies really do help

the sun shining makes us all happy

the ocean really calms u down

the birds chirping make the best music

if u catch me in my underwear don't expect me to be embarrassed

if u catch me watching BDSM don't be non plussed, i like it

if u catch me cooking, be sure to taste it, i cook well

we can build a better society by just being happy

we can do much better than buying cars by building our own

we are in fact doomed to die and that shouldn't scare u

getting a family like i have makes me very very lucky

getting to know a nice person like nat has made me a better person

getting good pals is worth more than all the money this world could offer

the wanderer

2007-09-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

the road moves...takes me along
the black asphalt melting under the afternoon sun...
and when the night comes we set up the tents
on the beach under the wishful moon
and then morning says wake up mr.
put on your shoes...where u going today hon

our very own world

2007-08-18T21:02:00.000-07:00

if mornings were like this
cream on toast and sugar sprinkled on them
coffee in the pot
and eggs scrambled to perfection

if afternoons were spent in hammocks
lazing arnd pretending to read a book
with some fresh lime to beat the heat
and a cool breeze lulling is asleep

if evenings were spent
dancing to a slow tune
arm in arm, dreamz in dreamz
the whole world joining in the chorus

and if nights were spent
sometimes in pure ecstacy
and sometimes just in a cuddle
sometimes just wondering how life cud've been

if dreamz were not dreamz
but our reality
i wud be the king and you the princess
of our very own world

moody blues

2007-07-30T23:41:00.000-07:00

totally at sea...not a clue...the pills arent working...what does one take for moody blues

just a wish

2007-06-27T21:22:00.001-07:00

they think i am here with them
they can talk to me feel my presence
but they forget i move with the winds
and when the second has ticked i will be gone
u can't hold me back or cage me
you can either come with me on a journey of a lifetime
or blink as you wonder whether i was fer real or just a wish...just a wish

little girl

2007-06-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

like bobbing strings on a wooden violin
dancing to its master's tune
a little girl i saw weaving a magic tune
a composed face, but naughty as you look
a soft touch, the gentle movements as u go past
a little angel, a naughty devil one would never know
who cares, its effervescent beauty like those of a bud in bloom
and for all that we can say,
we say on ode, not a line, not a pass
from a stranger to those eyes
those beautiful naughty eyes
those eyes that giggle as they see the world go past

The Oh My God Lines (from a community game)

2007-06-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

OMG my frndz gf's cat...ate the fuckin rat...that my frnd had poisoned with cheese...and now he's saying plz...fer a dead cat...who was already burdened with too much fat...u thing its worth the time...to go signing for such a crime...if you were to say...i would pray...you tell the guy...OMG why dont u buy...a dog fer your gf...atleast it wouldnt go arnd eating ratty fiends...or just lose the gal...who at such nonsensical things screams OMG ure not my pal

being free

2007-06-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

there is only one thing that i fear
and no it is not the sky falling on our heads
it is not dying for death will come to everyone
i fear fear itself, for the only thing that can destroy me is the sickness called fear
fear is what makes a man wary of another
fear is what makes a serpent strike at you
i would rather fear not whether i am right or wrong
for my heart is pure and if my convictions are erroneous
so shall i suffer and correct but not fear
for fear shall leave me devoid of convictions
it is that villain which destroys a persons peace and calm
it is the fear of being a bad lover
that prevents one for caring for another
it is the fear of losing that breeds stink in politics
no i fear not what the ages hold for me
for as long as i'm without fear i have the strength
to breathe deep and easy
to breathe of honesty
to breathe of happiness
to breathe free
i was born free
i shall remain so

lines on love

2007-06-27T21:19:00.000-07:00

tu dekh meri hasi ko....yeh jhooti naheen...teri yaad abhi taaza hai...woh shaamein abhi bhooli naheen....yeh rasta humein alag leh gaya...dekh tere pyaar se mainay yeh jag raushan kar diyaa

jigare ishq woh naheen jo ro ke jiyaah....dekh mere piyaa main tere bin bhi khush ho ke jiya

tu hans de dekh kya jaadoo hota hai...kabhi kabhi to khuda bhi khush hota hai......yeh baat bhi ajeeb hoti hai....dhadakta hai dil waisay bhi...kabh kabhi mehsoos hota hai

dear friends and comarades

2007-06-27T21:18:00.000-07:00

bitches, bastards, saints and angels
all my dear friends and comrades
some who care for what people say
and some who don't for what they themselves are
as the blind men who felt around an elephant
and the elephant complained of molestation
it is wise to think before you speak of youre trepidations
who knows what your fears are
maybe your hunger for bread makes you go weak
or that the lack of sex makes you cranky
stop crying, whining of the world not being fare
remeber the time we were dining and you gobbled all the best fare
but bitches, bastards, saints and angels
i can't tell you how happy i am
for your company makes me realise
how saintly an asshole i am

rock on jesus

2007-06-27T21:17:00.001-07:00

rock on jesus, did you hear them pray
they thanked you for the tasty salad
and the low heat in may
they came to you for wishes to be granted
and they came to tell you how happy they are
some come and cry jesus
some come n sing
some come n tell you how they have found their loved ones
some come n tell how they lost theirs
rock on jesus, did you hear them pray today
somethings are going right
and lots are going wrong
the turkey got burnt today
both in the oven and on tv
i don't know where we're headed anymore
nor do i guess do the learned ones
but this way or that
rock on jesus, did u hear them pray today

shadow people

2007-06-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

as you live thru ure lives
u pause to see behind the crevice
was it a movement or just your thought
but when you're not noticing, when you've got tears in your eyes
one of us will always be there to help u back to a smile
and back up in the party your eyes search for whom you are not sure
we are not you we are not your friends
we are your shadows and thats where we stay
we are the shadow people
we exist...but only as shadows

mumble jumble

2007-06-27T21:16:00.001-07:00

four score no more
roads bends away from trends
the way to paradise isnt thru a high rise
as i mumble my way thru the jumble
a reason to treason
i brought a thought
just can't figure it or won't

wild girl

2007-06-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

the wild dessert bush flower
it grows with the dusty winds
no think not how it manages
you should see it laughing
as it enjoys the grainy breeze
it shouts out, i'm wild, i'm a cowgirl
this is how i grow up
i'm not your rose sherbet
i'm tequila, are you game

missing the beat

2007-06-27T21:14:00.001-07:00

a writer on a wrong typeset
a singer on a wrong note
a painter off his tone
a poet out of rhyme
a laywer who lost his lies
a drunkard who forgot his drink
a driver who can't get his ABC right

all about love

2007-06-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

the summer sun and the trepidations of my heart
its not as if the world would come to an end
but look how chirpy life can be
they say that life is not found in dreams
but look how beautiful dreams are
they say that people can't be that nice that real
but look how everybody sheds a tear
they ask what you want to achieve, what you want to be
but look how they forget life's all about love

in memory

2007-06-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

abhi saansein aur bhi hain
yuun to main jaane se raha
tumpar mera karzaa aur bhi hai
yuun to main bhulaane se raha
kya hua ki ab meri aankhein naheen khuli
mere yaar to abhi tabeeyat se hain
kya hua ki duniya kal mujhe dekhegi naheen
abhi tummein meri yaadein taazaa to hain
main yuun dhuaan banne se raha

dream big

2007-06-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

zanzeeron mein khwaahishein hain
yeh zamaana kya poora karega
tere sapney chotey padh gaye
ab aur bahaanaa kya karega

i want my mtv...no actually only beer

2007-06-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

i need a bottle of beer today
the rains are not here
and the sun is stuck up there
and me sweating in a pile of hay

if it goes on like this
there won't be much of me left
the gods are responsible for a sweaty theft
and so i all i demand is this

that if the world has still got ears
and u r feeling the heat too
then come and join me and poo
and over stories we shall have, many chilled beers

doable

2007-06-27T20:53:00.000-07:00

not all gods, all earth nor men
could stand in the way of truth or time
it stands therefore as a law above all
be good to others for that is all that you have in your hand

kinky gal

2007-06-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

kinky is what kinky does
why should we be scared of our lust
high pointed heels, black leather skirt, red halter top
smiling, her black nails shining, holding the riding crop
she is a gud ride, the best i ever had
she's fun, she's energetic, she's raw, she's bad
she plays like a child, holds back like a seductress
she plays wid flowers, as with whips
she's beauty, the best side of the devil i ever saw
she's naive, she's a girl, purest of the lot

i need my pain

2007-06-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

pain is not something i wish for, it is but a necessity
for the emptiness without hurts more than i can take
its like i need to burn in ice
coz otherwise the fire within will consume me in its wake

Ishfaaq

2007-06-27T02:31:00.000-07:00

ishfaaq, ishfaaq wahaan mat jao ke duniya tumse bezar hai...wahaan tumhey sirf pathar milenge...tum wahaan na jao...tumhein agar kaheen jaana hi hai to mandir jao...par ishfaaq kya tumhein maaloom hai ki mandir kahaan hai?

chocolate rain

2007-06-27T02:30:00.001-07:00

its not in the season
but my heart still wishes for the same
if anything could bring smile to people's faces
it wud be a horde of chocolate rain

dastak

2007-06-27T02:30:00.000-07:00

kee unhoney dastak..kyon aayee na awaaz...yeh kaisi doori hai....jo aankhon main hai...woh bhi dikhta naheen

an ode to the being

2007-06-27T02:29:00.000-07:00

this world beneath my feet
and the skies above me
what do i conquer now
when all's mine and all is me

Christmas Punjabi style

2007-06-27T02:27:00.000-07:00

santa singh ji
wearing his laal topi
came to me and said
bhappe watz wrong

i said paapaji
will you help me
go to all my frndz
and give them a puppy

so all my dear ones
i hope u've been gud this yr
coz santa singh is coming again
balle balle balle

main azaad hoon

2007-04-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

is desh ko naheen zaroorat hai gandhi ki ab
is desh ko naheen chahiye ek mahatma
grast hai yeh ek dar main
dar jo kahta hai ki tu haar jaayega
dar jo kahta hai ki kal khaana naheen milega
dar jo kahta hai ki teri awaaz dheemi padh jaayegi
dar jo kahta hai ki tera khoon bahega
dar jo dikhlaata hai tere ghar waalon ke aansoon
dar jo dikhlaata hai gareebi ke nazaare
dar jo dikhlaata hai gaaon ke toote huey raaste
dar jo dikhlaata hai teri maut
naheen! chahiye to desh ko hai woh
jo kahey ki naheen main naheen dartaa
bas ab main aur naheen dartaa
leh lo yeh khoon mera
aur cheer do mere dil ko
naheen main ab aur apney se pyaar naheen kartaa
dekh mujhe khul kar saans lete huey
main azaad hoon
main azaad hoon
azaad hoon...

Knowing each other

2007-04-21T02:57:00.000-07:00

she knows i like her
she doesn't know how much
she knows she likes talking to me
she doesn't know how much
she knows she can trust me
she doesn't know how much
she knows i'm naughty
she doesn't know how much
she needs time
i don't know how much
she needs to know me to be able to trust
i don't know how much
she needs to connect deep into me
i don't know how much

The Sorceror

2007-04-21T02:55:00.000-07:00

i write, for life is magic and

i am the soceror

cruel in my words

soft in my intentions

i read the wind as it sails by

i dance the fiery dance of death

laugh with the mad men

cry with the harried widow

i am the leper dissolving in my own sin

i am the saint giving my own sacrifice

drunk in the liquor u haven't tasted

ate the food u left untouched

i am life itself

i am another face of death

Naked Again

2007-04-21T02:49:00.000-07:00

a moment of insanity was all that it took

for me to step out into the rain

for me to go yelling onto the beach

for me to cry like a dam had burst

for me to open my heart out to a stranger

and be naked again

Forlorn

2007-04-21T02:46:00.000-07:00

life's anguishes leave one so forlorn
in the search for glory for comfort and love
it is not so much about finding oneself
but being able to live with that person
through the ride up in the vitories and shouts of joy
into those moments of uninspired trepidation

where from we come and where to we go
nay i do not know these answers
but in the moment that is life
i would very well do if you could tell me
what do i lust for, for what do i fight
for in my own thought everything is zulu

you
me
this world
zilch
and yet we continue to wander
forlorn and aimless in our flight