duur hai tu

koi toh wajah hogee ki tu abhi tak mere aahosh mein naee
koi toh wajah hogee ki tu phir chup sahee

ae khuda, ab kya tujhe paane ke liye
khudaa se hi baat karni padegi

A deeper sound

even at this 'grown up' age
there are times when i feel
helpless and lost
when my strengths seem missing
and my weaknesses are playing their cards
in those moments of agony
i look forward to hearing a sound
a sound that will tell me everythings gonna be ok
and even though i have never heard that sound
i have felt u do things for me
and said here is the chance u had asked me for
now show me what u can do and make me proud
and though i have faltered almost everytime
even on those
it seems you haven't given up on me
thanks for being the confidence i dont have
thanks for being the deeper sound that i can't hear

my love affair...

I haven't been with her for long
but ours is a bond unbroken
she keeps busy with her day to day life
but i know she years for me everyday
as i yearn for her
and when we occassionally catch up
she flirts with me as she did when we first met
playing it subtle at moments
or roaring for my attention
a soothing voice in either tone
she talks to me and wonders
that didn't i miss her...what took me so long
her smooth surface is eager to rub againt mine
she is a demanding one
whilst she cuddles me in the evening and does general chatter
in the mornings she wants me pumping and sweating
and tired i fall in her lap
and i realize how much i love her
how much she loves me
there is happiness and peace
and not that we dont fight
oh sometimes she grows dark and angry
she scares me when she's so fiery
but i know beneath all that rage
is a woman who wants to be loved
and of all the girls i have known
she's the one i think simplest to understand
her wants are primial and on the face
her love is easily felt
its a three year old love affair
and it still continues...

after months i came back to juhu beach
and my babe was as lovely as ever infact i think she looks better than last time, there's a mini garden also there now :)

give in, into love

when warmth is all that you want
and they try and barter you the world
when a hug is all you need
the world doesnt work...a single person is wat goes

when time flies
round and round and thoughts get entangled
and u find that u r tired of it all
that what came to u at the end...is what should've been there all along

when love is all that i want
why do u think anything else will work
i need someone who will give me the attention
when it requires u to lose...why are u still hung up on being in control

a little bit of a lot

a little bit of tease a little bit of a play
a little bit of kindness and some amount of pray
a little bit of roughing up a little bit of soft side
a little bit of priceyness and some warm smiles

a little bit of fun
a little bit of wine
a little bit of embarassment
a little bit of swine

a little bit of pain
a little bit of pleasure
a little bit of the saint
a little bit of devilishness to treasure

a little bit of everything is what makes things good
and thats why i'm a little bit of everything
nice, rude, cool, prude, gross, warm, kinky, cuddly
and maybe i'm a little bit of u

Thought you had me

in school when every body was cool
i was in my pensive mood
and some parts of life went so fast by
that the race was almost over before i knew it had begun
and you thought you had me there did you
well dream on...

when it was the time for the heart to flourish
i had words but no magic
and my search for a mate was so futile
that right before my eyes the world had coupleized
and you thought you had me there did you
well dream on...

and then you gave me eyes to dream big
but no direction to walk upon
and in my haste to be me
i had walked a couple of circular miles
and you thought you had me there did you
well dream on...

i cherish you as my enemy
cause you're also my closest friend
and i appreciate ure challenges
and my peculiar weaknesses
but if you think you'll ever have me
well dream on...

The man

I am what I am and that's Why I am the Man

I may not have the strengths of ten oxen
And me by your side won't look like u got a trophy
And i don't even have a tank gun between my legs
What to tell you, i dont even care if you and i are rich

I may earn some dough and it may be good
But one day i might just ask you to pack bags
And move wid family to a farm somewhere
I hope you're good wid milking cows

I may be cuddly
Heck I may spank
And your heels might make me wanna wank
But you never know a movie might even make me shed a tear

I may carry your bags and smile
And say what the heck spend all u like
I may even cook your breakfast in bed
But don't be surprised when i crib

I pick my nose
I throw my socks
And i could give up those
But i'll still burp loud

I'll make u smile
And make even the most stressful times feel like a laugh
Heck you'll never know when you're gonna be asked for a dance
But as unlikely it may seem, am sure you're gonna cry too

As gentlemanly nice as i am
Am sure you'll see that i am a jerk too
And i hope u can love them both
Coz I am what I am, and that's why u shud want me to be your man

the journeyman travails - what are you searching for

a lil one asked me yesterday, journeyman what are you searching for
you travel far and wide, is it for the gold in the river or the diamonds in the mines

i wonder what to tell her, for what gold can buy and diamond can decorate
is, but a crown, better suited for museums; to come once in a while, admire and move on

i tell her of my prayers to the lord in the night
that my life be one of adventure, one of seeking

that i search for peace inside
and that i spread smiles outside

doodles on a napkin

Doodles on a napkin
are like the tarrot cards
mysteriously forming destiny
from thoughts arisen in solitude
but like all destinies must
in the end get crumpled up and moved away
to make way for a fresh table, some new thoughts and some new doodles

The Tree

in their natural turn
the seasons come and go
each spring invigorates me
each autumn eats away a part of me
and i remain rooted deep down into the earth
looking up at the sun hover in the sky

caught in the prison of the earth and the sky
neither free to mingle with the mud
nor allowed to fly
i talk to the travellers
with my breezy lullaby
this is my penance, this is my sacrifice

fear of rejection

a friend mentioned this some days back...the fear of rejection

in these games of heart played blind
there is always a risk of a bad hand
when hopes of a flush give way to a heartache
and u feel that spring is the worst season of them all

but should one for the fear of losing
pack cards and not sit at the table at all?
and give no chance to life to work its miracle
life isn't very fun if one fears living it

admittedly it is stupid to play big hands on every turn
in games of love and war prudence is a valuable asset
for when it comes to playing the play
one must decide when to fold, play small or raise the stakes

The Empty Dock & the lost Ship

I have walked a long part of this life
wondering if there is a gentle hand
against which mine shall rub
one fine foggy morning
and through distance and time
the one who I have been looking for
shall find me just by chance

And as I despair and lie awake
wondering if her boat will ever find this dock
Not knowing what she is looking for
or a map that would lead her home
it seems a frail chance
we may have passed by each other already
or may never cross each others path
what if the boat is always lost
what if this dock is always empty

Lost in our own turbulences

Life is not as tough as it sometimes seems
But we want so much that we can't even gleam
the simplicity that surrounds us
in trying to understand the depths
we forget that somethings are but too simple
reaching out far in all directions
we wander and we struggle
and let go of what is at hand
till the time it drifts away
way far too much
and then we treasure
the diamond
that we thought was coal

about me 2

The old abt me had been up here for quite some time like a weathered sail whose seen many stormy seas...

T.J.: Sex was really easy. There was sex everywhere. It didn't really mean too much. Love, love was the hard thing to find. Even if you were looking for it, which not too many people were. And even if you found it, which not too many people did, even if it was right there in front of you. No; how could you see it with all the sex in the way?

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So here goes a new one (the old one now rests in my blog)

Many a people this face will meet
Some exploring the depths of meditation
Some wanting to feel real passion
Some wanting to die of exhilaration
Some wanting to set fire to this world of turbulation

There'll be souls interested in discussing Schroedenger's cat experiment
Whilst some may be into soles, fetish, bdsm and other sexual lifestyles untold
There'll be others trying to prove the butterfly effect
whilst some who would want to replicate the pattern on clothes, handbags, carpets and all

Ahead of us all lie challenges galore
To climb the everest
To write Tales of urban folk lore
To create art or improve science
Or to just find happiness in existence

And in all this we will find
People who hate
People who love
People whose views differ and judge us
People whose support makes u ten times strong

In all of this melee we all fit in
Decoding the mysteries of this life
and enjoying the happiness and pains as they come
So be it for you, so be it for me